your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
