Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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