I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
