so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
