She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
