if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
