I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
