Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
