so explain again why im purple
no
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
