My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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