I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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