There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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