You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
