My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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