a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
the liver wants what the liver wants
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
