thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wish I only lived at night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
