Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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