did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
