If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
