Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
