i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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