New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
