I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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