Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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