just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
