I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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