He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
