Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
