i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
