Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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