you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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