i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
