is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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