I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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