she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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