I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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