Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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