Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
