Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
