Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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