We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
