You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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