eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
