There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
why is half of my head shaved?
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