i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
