1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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