I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
