I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
