she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
