i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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