Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You may now shotgun with the bride
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
