I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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