he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
