covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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